4.5.12

Oh boy. You know those moments when you have done something awful, something horrible, something completely regrettable... and the worst part is, you knew better. Yes, I am talking about taking the kids shoe shopping today.

{cringe}

See?? I'm still completely traumatized!

In my defense, I only had the two youngest with me (yeah, I really did think that only having TWO would make a difference... HA!). 

The minute we walked in the doors, J says "I have a belly ache." Now, you and I know that he really just has to poop, and what I also know is that he will not, under any circumstances, do this in an unfamiliar toilet. The best thing to do at this point is just soldier through the shoe store and get home ASAP.

Meanwhile, baby girl (who is fully mobile, like running) takes off headlong into "Women's 10 1/2-11" and proceeds to bring me every glittery, sequined, shiny giant ladies' shoe that is at toddler level. C'mon, sweet girl, mommy's feet may be big, but really??

Okay. So, Jacob's feet get measured, he needs a whole size up from last time (seriously! I need to stop feeding these kids or something! Or maybe I can get them to take up smoking??) and I desperately try to grab and shove onto his feet anything, anything at all that looks remotely like anything he would wear- think light-up flashers and cartoon characters...

Oh but wait! Where's the baby?? Ohhhhhhhhh.... there she is!! She's sitting so sweetly next to a giant pile of bracelets and earrings that she has removed from the standing kiosk... oh and that's super, she's also removed the price stickers and is eating them. Oh, and look, she not only got all the merchandise off of the rack, she's also helpfully removed all the hooks that the shiny, glittery jewelry was hanging on.

Awesome!

I rip the tags off of J's new shoes, hand them to the cashier to ring up and attempt to scoop up all the merchandise that my sweet, precocious daughter has ever so helpfully rearranged for the store, and I whip out my debit card to pay for J's shoes and I tell the cashier that I have a 20% off coupon, but I have forgotten it in the car and could she please please please just give us the discount without me having to run back outside for the coupon (you know, so we can just get the heck out of the store, right?).

Ah, no.

And the whole reason that we came shopping for new shoes TODAY is because of that stupid coupon that expires TODAY. So, I pick up E, I have J come outside the doors of the store and stand right there, young man, DO NOT MOVE.  I run to the car (don't worry, only 20 ft or so from the door), carrying E, grab the coupon, look down and realize that she is no longer wearing her own shoes, but some glittery monstrosity in Women's Size 10 1/2 and that the employees of this store probably are thinking that I have used all this commotion as some bizarre and elaborate scheme to shoplift said pair of shoes...

I run back to the store, see J standing right by the doors, just as I left him EXCEPT he has in his hands strings and strings of shoelaces. What?? Uh yeah. In my haste to get to the car for the coupon, I didn't see that he'd been holding packets of shoelaces in his hands, you know, from the display by the register. He chose to pass the time waiting for my return by unravelling all the laces from their packaging. 

Seriously?? Who are these kids??

I paid, they allowed us to leave- me mumbling apologies and trying to avoid looking anyone in the eyes.

Oh, and yes, J used the bathroom as soon as we got home, and feels much better now, thank you.

I know, I know, they are just being kids... nothing was malicious or mean, but I can see now that my kids are at that dangerous age... too much impulse and not enough impulse control.

Looks like we have something to work on!

For now though, baby is napping, boys are playing outside (nicely! together!), I've got my sewing machine rocking and Janis Joplin cranked up.

Mommy's "happy place"

I just love happy endings, don't you?

~Kerry